help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
