I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
