I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
