i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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