Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
wanna go halves on a baby?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
