Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
