i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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