you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
