His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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