I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
do herpes really smell.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
