I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
