Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
