No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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