I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
