so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
