if you like me you must not know who I am
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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