just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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