hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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