I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
