you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
