You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
