Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
