I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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