Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
