wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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