If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
