Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
