I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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