Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Two words: blizzard sex
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
