Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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