If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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