Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
