I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
