his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up under a house in Key West
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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