Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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