and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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