did you get engaged???
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
