i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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