After last night, I could never be a politician.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
