I'm going to jail i love you
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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