Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
