there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
