summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
