She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
