update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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