Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
