Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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