Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
