if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
