5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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