Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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