3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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